Essay: Sometimes People Don't Like the Things You Like...

I grew up a country music fan. Born in the early eighties, a teen in the 90s, while everyone else was wild over Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, and Britney, I was listening to Paul Brandt, Reba McEntire, George Strait, Alan Jackson. I got used to being the odd one out when it came to music. People would tell me how my music was “too whiny” and crack endless “dead dog” jokes. Some even made crosses with their fingers and hissed at me like I was a vampire for loving my country music.

 

What did I do? I doubled down. I held my head high and dared them to name me all these “dead dog” songs (never could), proudly listed happy country songs when they asked for examples, and quietly gloated when I caught them cranking up King of the Road or singing along to Johnny Cash.

Later on, I started studying Tae Kwon Do, and everything was familiar. People who had never trained a day enjoyed telling me how “useless” my martial art was. How no one in UFC ever used Tae Kwon Do moves, so clearly it was silly of me to study it (cause UFC=every fight ever). “No one will ever use a spinning kick in a fight” - like that was the only reason to practice them (they’re cool!). And then, something like this would happen.

Eventually, I came to study Karate instead (not because there was anything wrong with TKD) and listened to a different verse to the same, old tune. “Kata is stupid. No one fights in a planned pattern.” Nevermind that none of us believe or teach that for a second. That’s not the purpose of kata.

Photo by Uriel Soberanes on Unsplash

Even in my schooling, I studied humanities - Classics to be exact. I was often asked “what good does that do?” or listened to science majors try to tell me I never did any “real work”. That was especially fun to hear after my 4th all-nighter in a row writing yet another 30-page paper and then cramming for a multi-hour test entirely in ancient Greek. People still tell me my degree was “useless” and then those same people will later express envy over my strong grammar and writing skills.

Photo by Dawid Tkocz on Unsplash

I’m used to people not liking or understanding what I like. My tastes often do not align with the mainstream. I like Batman v. Superman. I can’t stand Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. Bohemian Rhapsody makes me want to rip my hair out. I love LOST - and people will NOT stop with their misinformed takes on that one! I have faced constant criticism about the things I like, and you know what? It’s perfectly fine. Sure, it gets tedious and repetitive (seriously, where are all these dead dog songs?), but you know what none of this criticism ever did?

Take away my stuff.

Country music is still popular. People still train in Tae Kwon Do. Ancient Greek retellings are experiencing a resurgence. All of this stuff is still there for me to enjoy, even if someone thinks it makes me a vampire to be repelled.

My point is, people will not like or understand what you are into, and that is ok. People might even write essays mocking or belittling what you like, and that might get under your skin, but for the most part, it doesn’t matter. You can write your own essay defending your thing, but there is absolutely no reason to harass or belittle anyone who disagrees with you over having different interests. Heck, you might even catch them enjoying the very thing they claim they hate and get to gloat quietly, too.

I’m responding to some recent discourse where someone wrote an article complaining about cozy fiction, and some people got rather rabid about it. Apparently, some were even harassing people who defended this article. And this is not the first time this has happened. Just look at any fandom that can't take criticism. There is no reason to get this upset. This isn’t book banning or censorship (whole other issue). This is someone not liking your thing and expressing that dislike. You are allowed to be bothered. You are allowed to write your own defence piece. But WHY are you harassing someone for not liking something? Unless they are the government or someone with power working to actually ban whatever it is, calm down.

Now, I’m not immune. I’m not some paragon of accepting everyone’s stuff perfectly. I know I’ve told WWE people their stuff is “fake” in the past. When I was younger, I was a tomboy and openly sneered at all things “girly” and mocked romance novels. I probably even made the sign of a cross to ward off rom-coms a time or two. I don’t do this anymore.

And anyone who heard me make those comments back in the day is free to quietly (or loudly) gloat as I tear up to Ever After (again) or comfort-watch 10 Things I Hate About You for the 100th time as I sip my Pumpkin Spice Latte wrapped up in a fuzzy pink blanket next to a romance book or two.

 

 

 

 

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